Confessions Over Beer
by hephaestionthewriter
Summary: SLASH WARNING. My fictional series called "Law and Order: Exiled" takes place after Mike Logan is demoted to Staten Island and before Criminal Intent. However, it is part of the Stress Position storyline. Mike confesses to Cragen.


Law & Order: Exiled

Confessions over Beer

By Nicolas

Genres: slash, fan-fiction

Rating: adults

Author's note: You should read "Starved for Love" and "Christmas in Staten Island" before this story – these stories are going in order of the relationship development with "Stress Position" being sort of the 'finale' of the "Exiled: series. I'm trying not to rewrite too much L&O canon/history.

Feedback: yes, please and suggestions too. I will try my best to give the story an 'episode' feel instead of a 'book' feel. Story is unedited; and what I consider a rough draft. will be hosting my Law & Order stories too. I'm disappointed at lack of feedback; but a writer shouldn't depend on praises to work.

Main Characters: Mike Logan/OC

Disclaimer: Mike Logan belongs to Dick Wolf. However, Stephan Morgenthau belongs to me and is a fictional character. But Robert Morgenthau is the New York County District Attorney. I made a fictional grandson as homage to Mr. Morgenthau. All the places mentioned in these stories are actual landmarks in Staten Island and/or NY. I'm doing quite a bit of homework to make sure I put as much 'reality' in the stories as the series.

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Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy

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September 1996 – Murphy's Bar & Grill in Manhattan

Mike smiled up at the pretty barmaid named Cyndi. She placed the Budweiser beer and club soda on their table. He waited until she was gone. "How long you been sober now Captain?"

"It has been over 20 years. One day at a time – but I still hit the meetings now and then when I have time and stress. Trust me; the desire to drink never goes away completely." Cragen said and squeezed the lime into his club soda.

"I used to wonder if I was a drunk. They say that stuff is hereditary. And with my mom being a boozer; I figured its just time before I can't stop myself."

The Captain looked up. "Can you stop?"

Mike furrowed his brow; he was ripping the label off the beer bottle. "So far so good…I've been drinking a lot less actually."

"How is Staten Island? I was afraid for you when I heard about the transfer and demotion. I wasn't sure how you would take it. But you look…good."

Mike started flicking peanuts in his mouth. He shrugged. "That first week on the job, I really thought I was going to go nuts and just eat my gun. I mean; after all those years and for the department to treat me that way. I'm working Domestic Dispute Department these days."

Cragen shook his head. "I know you got a bad rap but Jesus Christ, you punched the councilman Crossley on the steps of the courthouse. That wasn't your finest moment."

"He deserved it. Now more than ever I don't regret what I did. That bastard got away with murder."

Cragen just sighed.

"So Captain, how is the Anti-Corruption Task Force thing going for you? Man, I guess Lennie is still there at the 2-7. I haven't seen him since I left." Mike drank beer and nibbled on a peanut.

"I stopped by for a minute and yeah, a lot of new faces. Task force keeps me on my toes but it's good. Anita asked about you. She's just biding her time until she can get you back at the 27th. She thinks you're wasted in Staten Island. You still got friends and support Mike; don't forget that."

"Staten Island isn't too bad. The domestic dispute cases stink but I told you how I got to work on that Thompson case. That felt pretty good. I was even looking forward to testify in court. The ADA on the case was really nice too."

"You think a lawyer is nice. What they put in the coffee at the 128th?" Cragen laughed.

"Listen, I'm hungry. Let's order some food. This place has good burgers and sandwiches." Mike said. He grabbed a menu. "Thanks for meeting me here too – I just prefer to stay away from the normal cop hangouts."

Cragen stared at the menu. He shrugged his shoulders. "No problem for me; I don't normally hang out at a bar anyway. And as soon as I order a club soda or ginger ale everyone gives me a strange look."

The barmaid stood in front of their table. She bent down and pointed at the menu that was in front of Mike. Donald Cragen shook his head; that was typical of Mike Logan; the girls absolutely threw themselves at him. And this one was young and making sure Mike got a good look at her perky breasts poking out of white tank top with the restaurant logo on it.

"Officer, we have this mushroom Swiss burger that's really good. I tried it the other day."

Mike pursed his lips. "Mushrooms huh…it sounds good. I want my burger medium-rare. Give us a side order of onion rings, another round of drinks and…"

Captain Cragen closed the menu and handed it back to the girl. "I will have the grilled chicken sandwich."

"I'll be back with your drinks." Cyndi said and jiggled away.

Cragen watched Mike watch her leave. "I thought she was going to sit on your lap. She's just your type – a 'c' cup."

Mike laughed. He hadn't noticed the girl's chest until Cragen mentioned it. Now, he couldn't help but look as she put the beer in front of him. She smiled and bounced away in her tight green shorts that was part of her bar uniform. "I think that one is old enough to be my kid."

Cragen nearly choked on his club soda. "You starting to get morals Mike…?"

"Yeah, well I ain't getting younger. I do a lot of thinking while I'm on the ferry every day."

Cragen raised his eyebrows unsure if it was possible for Mike Logan to change all that much. But when your foundation is shaken; some men do find themselves looking over at their life's decisions.

"Where's Marge tonight?" Mike leaned back sipping his beer.

"She had a flight." Cragen said. He looked up at Mike. "I'm assuming since you're not flirting with the waitress; you must be seeing someone? Settle down Mike; find yourself a nice little Irish wife that will wash and press those plaid ties. Now tell me some of your interesting domestic dispute stories?"

Mike gave Cragen a few example of the dysfunctional State Island marriages he had to come in between of before spouses killed each other while they waited for their food. Twenty minutes later, Mike saw the girl come toward them juggling plates on her thin pale arm. "Here you go guys…"

"And by the way, not everyone laughs at my ties." Mike said and rubbed his hands in eagerness as his plate arrived. "This smells good. Another round Cyndi, we are thirsty hard working policemen."

"Will do…" She picked up Mike's empty bottle and walked away.

For the next 10 minutes neither of them spoke. Mike bit down on an onion ring. He looked over at his ex-Captain. He wiped his mouth on a napkin and gave the other man a serious look. "Listen Captain, I saw a doctor the other day. He found this thing on my lung. He said its cancer."

Don Cragen put down his sandwich immediately and wiped his hands. "What…? Jesus… Mike, you sure? Oh Christ, but you don't even smoke. This is awful!"

"Yeah well, it's not true. I don't have cancer…I have a…sort of…boyfriend actually." Mike said and immediately grabbed his beer. He swallowed until there was hardly anything left in the brown bottle.

"Wait a minute…you don't have cancer. You have a…girlfriend?" Cragen didn't say the other word; but he was sure he misheard the guy.

"No, I don't have cancer. I don't have a girlfriend. I'm seeing another…man." Mike had lowered his voice to a whisper.

Cragen looked around the bar. "All right, is this some sort of practical joke? Did Lennie put you up to this Mike? Is he hiding at the bar somewhere?"

Mike rubbed his eyes and then pushed his fingers through his dark thick hair. "Listen to me Don, because I don't plan to tell another single soul on this planet. I know I can trust you. I got no one else to go to. But I swear on a stack of bibles; I mean what I said. I'm seeing a guy. He and I have been hooking up now for six months. Don't look at me like that – say something – say you're disgusted if you want – but say something…!"

"But…"

Mike crossed his arms. "But what…?"

"But…"

"But what…!"

Don Cragen looked around the bar. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "But, I don't know what to say. I'm absolutely…surprised NOT disgusted. What – I mean – I thought you liked women?"

"Hold that thought…" Mike said and waved Cyndi over, "I need another beer and a shot of Southern Comfort."

"How was the burger?" Cyndi asked as she lifted the plate.

"Great…" Mike looked over at Cragen. He waited until she was gone to speak. "I'm having that shot for you."

"Thanks…" Cragen said and looked at the younger man. "What made you change teams so late in the game?"

Mike laughed. He took the drinks from Cyndi and in one gulp swallowed the Southern Comfort. "Well are you ready for the real shocker?"

Cragen shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, there's something more to this confession? Tell me he's at least 18 year old."

Mike shook his head. "Worst than a minor – he's a lawyer."

Cragen slapped his hands on the table. "All right now I know you're full of shit. You hate lawyers…"

Mike put his beer bottle on the table. He looked at his old boss. "Yeah well, I think I'm falling in love with one now."

With the mention of that particular 4 letter word, Don realized that Mike wasn't kidding and this was going to be more serious than they could have imagined. Actually, the implications to this scenario for most cops meant many unpleasant things. Don nodded his head. "I guess you better start from the beginning. Don't worry Mike – I will help you anyway I can – I promise."

Mike signaled Cyndi, "Time for the coffee…lots of it."

The End


End file.
